Vacuuming the Dog

Originally published:  Sat, 30 Dec 2017  x I am shameless (that’s also my TV show of choice at the moment). Other synonyms that capture this blog entry nicely: barefaced, overt, brazen, audacious, outrageous, undisguised, unconcealed, transparent. Remember how I said I have  stuff to say and stuff  to process and that this blog was my way of getting some shit off my chest? Well, it turns out that’s not as easy as I thought it would be. Over the last 4 years I’ve watched that Brené Brown TED Talk on vulnerability a million times and have sent the link to dozens of friends. Yet I still struggle to be open and honest about who I truly am. How come peddling vulnerability doesn’t automatically make me the world’s most vulnerable human? Oh right,  being vulnerable takes effort and requires a little [a lot] of sitting with discomfort. My goal is to practice living a life of vulnerability, and my decision to boldly speak my truth on this blog is just one element of that practice. I am really l

I struggle with atheists. And not because I disapprove of their beliefs (or lack thereof). My struggle is because I’m fairly certain they are right about the whole ‘god doesn’t exist’ thing. I think that’s probably factual. I mean, if I could somehow turn off the emotional part of me that so desperately wants god to exist, then I’d probably also be an atheist. Two things would need to happen: 1) I’d have to want to turn off the emotion part of me (which I don’t), and 2) I’d have to suspend my belief in god (which I don’t).  I love believing in god. It makes me feel like a child. It makes me feel like there’s magic to all of this. As for religion? I don’t know how to feel about that. Attacking religion would be easy. There’s so much to attack. There’s so much wrong with it. Personally, I’d rather not attack anything; including atheists.  But maybe if I’d want to do one thing, it’d be to wrap them (atheists) up in my arms and tell them ‘Sure, we originated from nothing and are spiralin